I used to have a massive complex about not feeling smart enough. The way I compensated for it was that I’d make a point and argue it ’til it’s absolute death and the person on the other end would be like: “Whoa, whoa- way to hit the bullseye between my eyes and then peg me out to dry”. In other words, my own insecurities made me defensive and it wasn’t very nice.
Eventually, I realised that less is more. People will perceive what they want, and how they think of you is actually beyond your control. Their own distortions and projections will cloud their view of the world, and the only thing you do have power over is your own beliefs and how good you feel in your own skin—just as you are.
One of the many, gazillions of books I read this year was “The Six Pillars of Self Esteem” by Nathaniel Branden. I’ve mentioned it before and this tea bag made me think of it again. There is a point where he talks about self-esteem and the way needing to be correct for the sake of having the last word, can actually cause us to stray from what we know is right. He says: “Ask yourself: Would you rather be loyal to the truth, or correct?”
The long and the short of it is that sometimes it’s not about being right. Sometimes it’s about knowing in that particular moment, you let go of the need to “win” and prove your point, because you knew that it was more important to have a conversation which cleared the air so that equality and respect was restored. That you softened the hard line you normally set because you understood that harping on about technicalities wouldn’t have helped the other person feel heard or understood. That at the end of the day, you stepped down from your intellectual soap box and chose to be kind over correct— and then you felt even better for it.
Happy Monday, you rainbow macarons!! xxx
