Until very recently, I never really asked myself: “What makes me happy?”
I went through life feeling pretty good, but reacting and making decisions from a pretty auto-pilot space. I wouldn’t say I was a zombified mummy walking with my arms out in front of me and barking strange words in a creepy, electronic voice, but I was definitely a little out of touch with my feelings and emotions. Yeah, that old chestnut.
Everyone has a different auto-pilot: for some of us (like me), the auto response is to “do the right thing” or “keep my parents proud” (I know, I know, how OLD am I– still wanting the old back slap from my parents for a life well lived according to them).
It’s all old tapes and habits from childhood and it’s like we forget as adults, to wake up from the routine and actually question: “Why am I doing this?”
Anyway, when I was doing my become-a-life-coach training, one of the main questions we’re asked to consider is: “But what you need in order to feel happy?” And of course, then I realised that I had no idea– other than the general notions of: “Time spent with friends, family and going for long walks to Blackwattle Bay”.
I also realised with pretty startling clarity that I believed (incorrectly) that we’re not allowed to have needs. That we should only be selfless and generous rainbow sprinkling garden elves who beam magnanimously and just give-give-give. But in fact, how can we actually operate from a great space where we want to hold the space for someone or genuinely help them, if our own inner cup is sitting on empty? Our engines purr when we refuel. Our energy is light when we acknowledge our own headspace and what we need– and then we feel nourished when we give back to ourselves.
It’s why glitzy cars and big houses don’t necessarily make us feel “filled up”– because we didn’t actually hit the spot as to what we needed in that moment (ie a hug, support, someone who was there to listen).
So take a second on this fabulous Friday– and do something fun and awesome just for you, because you deserve it, you lovely lemonade-sipping tulips xxx